Overcoming Trials

I don't know if this happens to any of you, but last night I had all these thoughts running through my head. I thought they were good and knew two things: I needed to write them down so I wouldn't forget them AND I wouldn't fall asleep until I did. Funny how our brain works that way...

Hebrews 12:6 (KJV)-"For whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth..." Now, this scripture stuck with me for a long time when I was younger. And not for the reasons you may be thinking. You see, I had great parents. I did well in school (and didn't struggle for it). My family had what we needed and quite a bit of what we wanted (books...lots and lots of books...). I really didn't seem to struggle in any aspect of my life (except popularity which I didn't really want at the time). I was so blessed, I didn't seem to have any trials. So the question plagued me: Does God love me?

My logic was this: If Heavenly Father loves someone, He gives them trials to make them stronger and to prepare them to enter His presence. My life was pretty awesome. I couldn't think of any "real" trials that I had, not like a lot of people I knew or heard about. So in my mind, God was not chastening me. He must not have loved me. It was tough to understand. Years later, I learned I was wrong. but for several years, I struggled knowing if I was loved of Heavenly Father or not.

Last night, something clicked. Something big. 1 Samuel 16:7 (KJV)-"...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." All those people with trials had outwardly visible trials. That's what I thought was the true measure of pain and suffering: broken legs, broken hearts, life-threatening disease, bankruptcy, etc., etc., etc. Sometimes we create our own trials (that's what I was doing) and sometimes trials are given to us. But you see, the Lord isn't looking at the severity of the trial as a measure of His love or even as a measure of our faith. Because He doesn't look at those things.

About a year ago, we tried to get my then five year old son to ride his bike without training wheels. Oddly enough, he was riding the NEIGHBOR's bike all over without training wheels. But when we took the ones off his bike, he flat out refused to ride it. Fast forward to this year. We got them Razor scooters and my kids were riding all over. I commented to my son that if he could ride and balance on the scooter, he could do it on the bike. The next day, he had us take the training wheels off (again) and was riding all over within minutes. My point in this is that something that seems obvious and simple to us may not seem simple and obvious to someone else.

Another illustration: My husband is ridiculously strong. I am not. At all. He can lift and move over 200 lbs on his own (as in pick it up and carry it, not drag it around). Me? I feel like I'm going to break in half when I work on 100 lbs.

But that's the way it is with trials. We're each tried according to our capacity to endure, not beyond it. (Unless we're creating our own trials, but that's a whole nother story!) Heavenly Father knows what stresses us out and what will be heavy for us. He knows what would be too easy for us, which would impede our growth. That's why we aren't each asked to endure the same things.

But, and here's the MOST important part, we aren't asked to do it alone. Never alone. Psalms 55:22 (KJV)-"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." Jesus Christ is our Savior. What does a Savior do? Saves. And in the case of Christ, He saves us from all things: sin, heartache, disappointment, depression, trials, death. The list goes on. We do not have to suffer alone.

Now, here's an exercise for you. And it may seem silly, but I want you to do it anyway. Find somewhere quiet (or just sit in the noise, because sometimes you don't have a choice). Pray. Tell Heavenly Father all the details about whatever trial is hurting the most. Tell Him HOW it's hurting. And then follow the scriptures advice: cast the burden on the Lord. Turn it over to Him and promise to follow whatever promptings come, no matter how painful or scary. It will be worth it. Trust me. You'll be filled with love. You'll feel clean again. You'll feel strong enough to endure. You won't feel alone.

Just do it.

Finding Joy #1

Quick update: The Guardians: Revenge is coming along great! Had a few insights last week that have really helped pull the story together. It feels more complete. :) Also, if you have not read Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol, do it! On to the heart of the post!

Finding Joy-Thoughts
These are thoughts that have been floating around in my head for a long time. I am in no way a medical professional. Always, always, always counsel with a medical professional if you are suffering from depression or other ailments, especially of the mind. This is a sensitive subject that I am treating as delicately as possible. It was a difficult post to write and I can only ask that you read it with the intent that I have written, to help others. The examples I use are my own.

Luke 2:10-11, 14
10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you ^agood tidings of great ^bjoy, which shall be to all people.

 11 For unto you is ^aborn this day in the city of David a ^bSaviour, which is Christ the ^cLord.

 

 14 ^aGlory to God in the highest, and on earth ^bpeace, good will toward men.

 

John 14:27

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

 

John 16:33

33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have ^apeace. In the ^bworld ye shall have ^ctribulation: but be of good ^dcheer; I have ^eovercome the world.

 

I have three beautiful, wonderful children. In my religion (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), they often talk about how children are a joy, how they bring so much happiness. When my third child was born, it was not that way. I felt certifiably insane at that time. I ranged in emotions, from hating my children to feeling guilty about that hate, to loving them intensely, to staying up late at night in a panic that someone would break in and kidnap or hurt them to fearing that I would be the one to hurt them. Quite frankly, it was terrifying to feel so out of control.

 

I endured for about a month after the birth of my third. It was all my head, after all. My emotions were out of whack with the birth of my baby. I just needed to get over it. I realized I needed help when I was at the store checking out. The checker asked the generic "How are you?" and I nearly lost it at the desk. Tears welled up out of nowhere and I thought I would collapse. I called my doctor as soon as I got home (and the tears flowed freely!). She immediately put me on medication suitable to my condition. I was lucky. The day I started taking the medication was the day it took effect. It can often take up to six weeks before that type of medication begins working.

 

The day the medications started, I felt reborn. I could sleep at night. I loved my children. I no longer had urges to hurt them. I knew that everything would be okay. About a month later, I again called the doctor. I felt strongly that it was time to quit taking the pills. I weaned myself off the pills, again under her direction. I have been blessed not to have a recurrence of that episode.

 

I must contrast that with my time as a teenager. I spent most of my high school years believing that everyone hated me (what teen doesn't?). My senior year, it finally occurred to me that no one cared about me that much. I laughed when I realized it. They had their own problems to be thinking about, they did not need to add me to the pile. It was a huge weight off my shoulders, realizing that I was thinking about others thinking about me more than they thought about me. It still took years of self-mental therapy to get over my paranoia. Whenever I caught myself believing others were talking about me, I had to quickly remind myself that they weren't. And then I had to change topic in my head, running away from the misconception.

 

I tell you these two stories to make a point. So much of our happiness is related to our thoughts. Our entire perception of the world comes with how we think about it. Which is why I love the Savior's injunction to "Be of good cheer." Sometimes, you have to be happy. My situation as a teenager did not change one iota (that means 'bit'). But my perception of it did. It has hugely impacted my development into an adult and my ability to love others. By taking matters into my own hands and being of "good cheer," I have been able to enjoy life. Do not think that it is easy. It takes effort, every single day.

 

In contrast, thinking myself happy did not (and could not) work after the birth of my son. There was more going on physiologically than psychologically. This is where the angel's pronouncement comes in. You know, the one about a Savior being born. I needed help. I was desperate. And my doctor, at that time, stood as the Savior for me. She helped me, saved me from myself.

 

At this Christmas time, there's a lot to be said for good cheer. In general, people are happier and more giving. It is an elevated kind of happiness, one full of gratitude. Oh sure, the rest of the year, we feel pretty good. We take care of ourselves and are content. But this time of year...this time we celebrate a Savior. We recognize that we are nothing. We recognize our neighbors. We recognize that we are each struggling with our own demons. And some demons may only be defeated through the Savior.

 

There will always be pain and suffering in the world around us. But as we rely on the Savior, we can find peace and hope, faith to move through this world being the best we can be.

 

For some, there will always be pain and suffering within. But the answer is the same. There is still hope. And in the hope of healing, we can find peace. The Lord Christ will not leave any who rely on Him. He lives! And He offers to us the same. Life.

 

And so I ask you, at this time, to set aside some of the franticness you may be feeling. Take a moment of reflection to remember why you are celebrating this season. Look on your neighbor with a little more compassion and offer the Lord a little more gratitude for His compassion. And as Tiny Tim says, "God bless us, everyone!"