"On the first day of Christmas" begins a refrain many are familiar with. Recently, I realized that this song actually goes against the very Spirit of Christmas. It's all about what the lover gave to the singer. What about the singer? What about me? Christmas is a time of year when we can practice looking "outward." In that spirit, here are some revised twelve days of Christmas that my children (ages 6, 4, 2) are doing to remember that it is better to give than to receive.
The Twelve Days of Christmas, service style!
1. Leave a positive note in a library book.
2. Deliver a plate of goodies.
3. Make Christmas cards.
4. Go caroling.
5. Make pictures for a nursing home or adopt a grandparent.
6. At home service (clean a room, help a sibling-something for a family member)
7. Donate old/gently used toys.
8. Participate in a Christmas program.
9. Deliver a present to a friend.
10. Pick up trash at a park.
11. Visit someone who is sick.
12. At home service.
If you've counted, you'll know that there are only ten days left until Christmas. Yes, we've already started at my house and I can tell you that my four year old has enjoyed doing the service the most. Her service extends far beyond the one task we plan out--she helps at home and on her own initiative. My six year old is in school, so he has not been able to participate in everything (and I started while he was at school). But he has enjoyed the "fruits" (treats we make for others) of our labors. And my two year old just loves being with us and doing what the "big kids" are doing. He is so proud of his efforts and it's fun to watch him have fun with us.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
Stay at Home Mom's
Man, how to write this post? I am frustrated. And I understand all at the same time. Most stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) feel like they are not validated, appreciated, understood. They feel overused, overworked, stretched thin, alone, overstimulated, understimulated, and like they have no one to talk to. I get it. I really do. I have three kids, (5, 3, 1). I was a working mom for the first four years of number 1's life. I have been 100% SAHM for number 3's life. I have seen both sides and I get it.
What I do not get is why we perpetuate the problem. I have seen a lot of posts about SAHMs for SAHMs. Posts about what a break really means and how to communicate with a SAHM and what SAHMs would like or need. And I am guilty of reading them and thinking, "Yes! Finally, someone who gets it! Someone who understand how I feel and is vocalizing it for the world to know!" It is nice to be understood. But I realized something after the last one I read. I do not feel any better after I read those posts. I feel worse.
Unless you have been a stay-at-home parent, you really have no idea what goes on or the unique stress that one deals with. Believe me. I thought I got it as a working mom...and I fully realize now that I am SAHM that I did not get it. It is one of those things you cannot understand until you have been there. I'm sorry. It does not make you less of a person, though. It just makes you a person.
Back to feeling better. I realized after reading the last post "validating" or "explaining" SAHM that I did not feel better. And the reason was simple. Someone who has not been in my shoes will never get it. And that list of things that I want to have or happen probably won't happen. Because I'm a SAHM. And that's okay. It's okay because of one, HUGE fact. I CHOSE to be a SAHM.
That's right. I looked at our family. I looked at our religion. I looked at families around us. I looked at what was happening when someone else was raising my child. And I made a choice. I decided it would be better for my family and me to stay home. And that's what I have done. It has been hard. I have felt underappreciated and overused and understimulated and overstimulated (often at the same time). I have felt like I do not exist as a real person. I have felt alone. But it is what I chose to do. And I do not always feel that way.
There are wonderful things that happen for SAHMs that often get lost in the jumble of negativity. I get to snuggle with my kids. I get to teach them right from wrong. I get to see them take their first steps and say their first words (my youngest just figured out "boom, baby!"). I get to cook and eat healthy meals for my family. I get to be home when they come home and see their faces light up when I cheer for them coming through the door. They come to me with their fears and joys. I get to play video games and board games and read stories. I get to be there for my husband.
And maybe I should stop here. You see, being a SAHM isn't all about me. It's about family. It's a choice to do what you believe is best for those around you. It's a CHOICE.
I guess my plea to SAHMs is this: You chose this path and so did I. There are rough days and rough moments. There are good days and good moments, too, though. But it's all a choice. No one forced you (us) to do this. And that's okay.
Here are some survival tips that I have found helpful recently:
1. Breathe. I mean this seriously. Take a breath and say to yourself: It will be okay. It's not as big a deal as I think it is. Breathe!
2. Tell your husband the truth about how you're feeling...and not right as he's walking in the door (unless he asks right then). How do you feel when you finally get a moment to sit down and someone (usually a kid) asks you to do something for them? (Really? I was just in the kitchen 10 seconds ago with you!) Give them a moment (just like you would like one) and then tell them the truth.
3. Take care of yourself. I'm not even talking about going to a salon and having a girls night or whatever. We don't have the money. But you can afford to go to bed on time. You can afford to eat healthy with your kids. And there are countless resources on the internet for finding some kind of exercise that works for you. (Lately, I've been doing a morning yoga routine (10 minutes or less) while my kids are across the hall playing (yes, they often wander into my room and join me). Then I take another 10 minutes to meditate on scriptures, hymns, Jesus, gratitude (yes, my kids often wander in during meditation to sit on my lap or have a dress buttoned or toy fixed or something. I cannot express how good I have been feeling since starting this.)
Honestly, it's okay to read the blog posts that remind you someone else understands. But do not wallow in them. Do not ponder on them beyond "Someone else gets it. I am so grateful." If you are going to wallow, wallow in the choice you have made to be a SAHM. Wallow and be grateful that your family is in a situation for that. Wallow in the good moments and remember that the bad ones don't last. Wallow in the affection of your spouse. And if you don't feel like you're getting that affection, take a page from your kids and just cuddle up to him. He'll either catch on and cuddle back or open the door to a conversation of what you need in that moment.
SAHMs, you're doing a good job. You're doing an important work. Remember that.
What I do not get is why we perpetuate the problem. I have seen a lot of posts about SAHMs for SAHMs. Posts about what a break really means and how to communicate with a SAHM and what SAHMs would like or need. And I am guilty of reading them and thinking, "Yes! Finally, someone who gets it! Someone who understand how I feel and is vocalizing it for the world to know!" It is nice to be understood. But I realized something after the last one I read. I do not feel any better after I read those posts. I feel worse.
Unless you have been a stay-at-home parent, you really have no idea what goes on or the unique stress that one deals with. Believe me. I thought I got it as a working mom...and I fully realize now that I am SAHM that I did not get it. It is one of those things you cannot understand until you have been there. I'm sorry. It does not make you less of a person, though. It just makes you a person.
Back to feeling better. I realized after reading the last post "validating" or "explaining" SAHM that I did not feel better. And the reason was simple. Someone who has not been in my shoes will never get it. And that list of things that I want to have or happen probably won't happen. Because I'm a SAHM. And that's okay. It's okay because of one, HUGE fact. I CHOSE to be a SAHM.
That's right. I looked at our family. I looked at our religion. I looked at families around us. I looked at what was happening when someone else was raising my child. And I made a choice. I decided it would be better for my family and me to stay home. And that's what I have done. It has been hard. I have felt underappreciated and overused and understimulated and overstimulated (often at the same time). I have felt like I do not exist as a real person. I have felt alone. But it is what I chose to do. And I do not always feel that way.
There are wonderful things that happen for SAHMs that often get lost in the jumble of negativity. I get to snuggle with my kids. I get to teach them right from wrong. I get to see them take their first steps and say their first words (my youngest just figured out "boom, baby!"). I get to cook and eat healthy meals for my family. I get to be home when they come home and see their faces light up when I cheer for them coming through the door. They come to me with their fears and joys. I get to play video games and board games and read stories. I get to be there for my husband.
And maybe I should stop here. You see, being a SAHM isn't all about me. It's about family. It's a choice to do what you believe is best for those around you. It's a CHOICE.
I guess my plea to SAHMs is this: You chose this path and so did I. There are rough days and rough moments. There are good days and good moments, too, though. But it's all a choice. No one forced you (us) to do this. And that's okay.
Here are some survival tips that I have found helpful recently:
1. Breathe. I mean this seriously. Take a breath and say to yourself: It will be okay. It's not as big a deal as I think it is. Breathe!
2. Tell your husband the truth about how you're feeling...and not right as he's walking in the door (unless he asks right then). How do you feel when you finally get a moment to sit down and someone (usually a kid) asks you to do something for them? (Really? I was just in the kitchen 10 seconds ago with you!) Give them a moment (just like you would like one) and then tell them the truth.
3. Take care of yourself. I'm not even talking about going to a salon and having a girls night or whatever. We don't have the money. But you can afford to go to bed on time. You can afford to eat healthy with your kids. And there are countless resources on the internet for finding some kind of exercise that works for you. (Lately, I've been doing a morning yoga routine (10 minutes or less) while my kids are across the hall playing (yes, they often wander into my room and join me). Then I take another 10 minutes to meditate on scriptures, hymns, Jesus, gratitude (yes, my kids often wander in during meditation to sit on my lap or have a dress buttoned or toy fixed or something. I cannot express how good I have been feeling since starting this.)
Honestly, it's okay to read the blog posts that remind you someone else understands. But do not wallow in them. Do not ponder on them beyond "Someone else gets it. I am so grateful." If you are going to wallow, wallow in the choice you have made to be a SAHM. Wallow and be grateful that your family is in a situation for that. Wallow in the good moments and remember that the bad ones don't last. Wallow in the affection of your spouse. And if you don't feel like you're getting that affection, take a page from your kids and just cuddle up to him. He'll either catch on and cuddle back or open the door to a conversation of what you need in that moment.
SAHMs, you're doing a good job. You're doing an important work. Remember that.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Crayon Removal
So, here I am a mom who also happens to be an author (trust me, the other way around is different!). I think I've mentioned before that I'm kinda a "jack of all trades, master of none" kind of a gal.
So, yesterday, I was exercising one of my 'trades.' I can sing pretty well. I'm not a superstar, by any means, but I'm a bit better than the average joe (my, I'm using a lot of clichés today). My neighbor came over for voice lessons. I was excited because it's the first one I've taught and she was excited because she wanted to take voice lessons (and I offered it for free until they can figure out if they can pay me or not). She has kids pretty close in age to mine and our kids were playing together GREAT! Too great...
Yes, this lovely art was found on every all in each of the kids bedrooms about two feet up from the ground. My little girl was very excited to tell me about her "Halloween Pumpkin Picture." I managed to keep it together, I had company after all, and proceeded to finish the voice lesson. There would still be crayon on the walls when we were done. Then I turned to my friends on facebook.
The number one way people recommended to get rid of this was with a magic eraser. I don't have any, but I put it one my grocery list. I hoped something else would come up since those are expensive and I worried it would strip the paint from my walls (I'm renting right now).
Number two was with crest toothpaste. Apparently, you apply some to your fingers and scrub. I DO have toothpaste (yeah me!) and tried that one. It worked better scrubbing with a toothbrush, but it wasn't really as effective or fast as I would have liked. I'm a bit on the lazy side sometimes.
Number three (and only one person mentioned this) was to put a towel against the wall and run a blow dryer over it. I tried this one also. I blow dried the wall and used a dry wash cloth to wipe the crayon off. And glorious days it worked!
It only took about two minutes of combine blow drying and wiping for this one spot. But you can see the results. I was soooooo happy! In about twenty minutes, I had warmed up and wiped off the crayon in ALL the rooms (okay, there's one spot behind the dresser that I missed yesterday, but I'll get to it). Highly recommend this! It was easy and it was cheap. But don't use your favorite washcloth. My sage colored washcloth is now a Crayola colorbox of colors.
This morning I did notice a faint tinge of color on the walls, but only if you stand in the right play with the light hitting it just so. I figure it will wipe off with my annual wall cleaning (annual...hahah! Like how I threw that in there like I actually wipe my walls once a year?). ;) Good luck!
On a fun side note, when my neighbor and I were doing sirens for a voice warm-up, we soon had five little kids running circles around us making fire truck noises. My one year old has a very piercing squeal. But they loved it. And at dinner time, all of my kids were doing vocal warm-ups again. I'm kind of a proud Jack Momma.
So, yesterday, I was exercising one of my 'trades.' I can sing pretty well. I'm not a superstar, by any means, but I'm a bit better than the average joe (my, I'm using a lot of clichés today). My neighbor came over for voice lessons. I was excited because it's the first one I've taught and she was excited because she wanted to take voice lessons (and I offered it for free until they can figure out if they can pay me or not). She has kids pretty close in age to mine and our kids were playing together GREAT! Too great...
The number one way people recommended to get rid of this was with a magic eraser. I don't have any, but I put it one my grocery list. I hoped something else would come up since those are expensive and I worried it would strip the paint from my walls (I'm renting right now).
Number two was with crest toothpaste. Apparently, you apply some to your fingers and scrub. I DO have toothpaste (yeah me!) and tried that one. It worked better scrubbing with a toothbrush, but it wasn't really as effective or fast as I would have liked. I'm a bit on the lazy side sometimes.
Number three (and only one person mentioned this) was to put a towel against the wall and run a blow dryer over it. I tried this one also. I blow dried the wall and used a dry wash cloth to wipe the crayon off. And glorious days it worked!
This morning I did notice a faint tinge of color on the walls, but only if you stand in the right play with the light hitting it just so. I figure it will wipe off with my annual wall cleaning (annual...hahah! Like how I threw that in there like I actually wipe my walls once a year?). ;) Good luck!
On a fun side note, when my neighbor and I were doing sirens for a voice warm-up, we soon had five little kids running circles around us making fire truck noises. My one year old has a very piercing squeal. But they loved it. And at dinner time, all of my kids were doing vocal warm-ups again. I'm kind of a proud Jack Momma.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
A Little Late: Storytime Saturday
We're a little late...this has been a hectic weekend! But it's better late than never! The Storytime Saturday page has been updated with an adventure for Super Zip! Will she be able to save her friend? Will anyone find out her secret (probably not ;) )? Find out now!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Storytime Saturday
What a day! But I have finally updated Storytime Saturday! Check out the page and leave a comment. Would you rather I added to the length of Storytime Saturday or posted the updated story as a post? Let me know!
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